


Put an X Where I Lost My Way

by smaragdbird



Series: Everything was my choice [1]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Extremely Dubious Consent, Father/Son Incest, M/M, and other lots of nasty stuff, except hux has no idea what love feels like, has a better understanding of a healthy sexual relationship, pretty sure they're in love, references child abuse, than the ginger space nazi, the guy who murdered his fellow jedi students, there'll be a second part, this is the happy one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-16
Updated: 2016-03-16
Packaged: 2018-05-27 03:38:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6268033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smaragdbird/pseuds/smaragdbird
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hux Sr. comes to visit, nobody but Kylo realizes how it affects Hux, much less that Hux has been in an abusive incestuous relationship with his dad for a very very long time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Put an X Where I Lost My Way

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [this ](http://www.example.com/) prompt

The door closed behind him. They were alone. He had been both dreading and looking forward to this moment.

His father studied him closely. “You look less stressed than last time. Did you work out your differences with Lord Ren?”

“Yes”, Sheev replied but neglected to tell him how. He didn’t think his father would react well to his infidelity.

“Good.” His father cupped his cheek and traced his bottom lip with his thumb. Sheev opened his lips ever so slightly in anticipation. “I’ve had a long journey”, his father continued, “Your mouth will suffice for tonight.”

“As you wish.” He knew what to do, had years and years of practice how to bring his father pleasure. But for the first time he had someone else to compare this to.

His father stayed quiet throughout it and only spoke to tell him how much he looked like a whore, how he belonged on his knees and in servitude to greater men.

Kylo’s constant stream of encouragement and breathy moans provided a sharp contrast.

Where his father only touched him towards the end to hold his head still as he fucked his mouth, Kylo ran his fingers through Sheev’s hair or over his face or neck and shoulders.

His father wouldn’t have dreamed of reciprocating in the same manner or at all in fact. Whereas Kylo had pinned him to the bed afterwards and swallowed his cock without a second thought.

“So you can lose your composure”, Kylo had said while Sheev had lain panting and boneless on the bed.

As his father tucked himself back into his trousers Sheev waited on his knees for further instructions.

“You may go”, his father said dismissively. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Goodnight, father”, Sheev said at the door.

“Goodnight.”

/

He was only partially surprised to find Kylo in his rooms, pacing like a caged animal. When he saw Hux he crossed the room and pulled him into a rough kiss before Hux could stop him.

“I knew it”, Kylo spat as he let go. He had to had tasted the semen on Hux’s tongue.

“We never agreed that our affair was exclusive”, Hux replied.

“Exclusive? He’s your father!”

He knew. Of course he knew. Hux felt his heart clench in his chest. “You know nothing”, he said coldly. “Go.”

“How long?” Kylo asked as If he hadn’t heard him.

“None of your business.”

“How long?” He asked again.

“None of your business.” It took all of his willpower not to yell at Kylo. His father had taught him that raising your voice was a sign of weakness.

“Why are you letting him treat you like this? You are a general. Supreme Leader Snoke holds you in high esteem. You – “

“Given who your mother and grandmother are, your ignorance of political realities is astounding”, Hux interrupted him. “My rank and power are at the whim of men greater than me until I have proven myself. And I fail to see what horrifies you so much about my relationship with my father. He has only my best interest in mind.”

“Has it not occurred to you that what he does is wrong?”

“Wrong?” Hux scoffed. “Once more you show how your morality is influenced by the Republic.”

“None of the other officers are being treated like this by their parents.”

“And you’ve read all your minds of course”, Hux said.

“Yes.”

Of course he had.

“Rarerity does not equal wrongness.”

“Do you like it? How he treats you?”

“Yes.” It wasn’t a lie but it wasn’t the truth either.

“You’re lying.” Kylo grabbed his shoulders. “I can kill him. Tell me and I’ll do it.”

“Are you out of your mind?” He wrenched himself away from Kylo’r grip. “This is not the Republic. We live by different rules.” Hux turned away and shrugged off his coat and hung it up in the closet. “This discussion is over Ren. It’s up to you if you’d like to stay or not.”

He tried not to feel disappointed when the door opened and closed and once he turned around he was alone.

/

He didn’t see much of either Kylo or his father during the next day. Lord Ren, he had been informed, had retreated to the Finalizer while his father inspected the Starkiller Base. Sheev had his own duties to attend to and didn’t meet his father again until dinner.

“On which system do you plan to use your weapon first?” His father asked.

His weapon, Sheev could feel the warmth of pride and accomplishment fill his chest. “Hosnian”, he replied. “Then whichever system the Resistance is hiding in.”

His father nodded approvingly. “What about its weaknesses? General Organa won’t sit idly by once you’ve destroyed the Republic’s capital.”

“The shields are protecting the base and even if the Resistance manages to make it past them, there is no weak point that could be hit from the outside. It would take a coordinated attack from both the inside of the base and the outside at the same time to bring down the Starkiller base.”

“And the thermal conductor?” Of course his father asked that had been the weakness of the Death Star.

Sheev pulled up the blueprints of the Starkiller Base and explained how the thermal conductor was protected.

“I’m impressed”, his father said finally. “If this project is a success, you’ll gain a lot of support for our goal.”

A shiver ran over his back. He’d destroy the Republic and live up to the name his father had given him. He’d be emperor of the galaxy, of more systems than even Palpatine had ruled.

“Make sure that it is a success”, his father added and Sheev knew there would be consequences if it wasn’t.

“Of course, father”, he said.

“I’ll report your progress to the Council. And I’ll return once you have finished.”

“I won’t disappoint you, father.”

“No, you won’t”, his father said. “Are your duties done for today?”

Sheev shook his head. “I usually work for another or two after dinner.”

“Make it one hour today, then come to my quarters”, his father ordered.

“As you wish, father.”

Exactly an hour later he stood in front of his father’s door and was let in as soon as he chimed the bell. He was glad his father hadn’t ordered the use of his rooms. They were in a state of disarray that his father wouldn’t have tolerated and there was the possibility of Kylo entering announced as he tended to do.

“Strip”, his father ordered. He himself was already undressed. His father always told him to take off his own clothes while Kylo seemed to enjoy peeling him out of them layer by layer.

“Did you prepare yourself?”

Sheev nodded.

“Then get to it.”

He knelt down and used his mouth and his hands to get his father hard. Sometimes his father used this time to open him up with his fingers but not always and Sheev had learned to do it himself beforehand.

Kylo on the other hand seemed to enjoy putting his fingers inside him as if he got anything out of seeing Sheev writhe on the sheets. It was one of the rare displays of patience from Kylo that would be of better use at other times.

“That’s enough”, his father said. “Get on the bed.”

His father always took him from behind, whether it was like now on all fours or bent over a desk or in the early morning when he was too impatient to wait for Sheev to wake up.

Kylo liked to see his face when they fucked, never taking his big dark eyes of Sheev’s face. The first time he had pinned Sheev to the bed, straddled his lap and then slowly sunk down on his cock, Hux had nearly yelled at him what he was thinking. But Kylo had fucked himself on Sheev’s cock as if he enjoyed nothing more. There had been nothing submissive about his performance and he never treated fucking Hux as a way to establish his dominance over him.

His father shoved his face down into the mattress. His thrusts were precise and forceful but not painful. That had only happened a few times when Sheev had reused him. Denying his father the rightful obedience he owed him had never been a good idea. But like most teenagers Sheev had made foolish decisions out of obstination and misguided youthful rebellion.

His father had always forgiven first mistakes once Sheev had finished his punishment. It was repeat mistakes that his father looked down upon harshly.

There had been very few mistakes Sheev had done more than once but denying his father had been one of them. However his father wasn’t a cruel man and had always allowed the wounds to be treated with bacta instead of letting them heal on their own. There were no whip marks, no burns, no scars marring his skin.

His father’s thrusts became more erratic, a sign that he was close. Sheev’s cock was hard and leaking but he didn’t dare to touch himself without permission.

A single groan escaped his father as he spilled himself inside Sheev. As he pulled out Sheev could feel his come starting to leak down his thighs.

“Clean me”, his father said, leaning back against the pillows, “Then you can finish yourself off in the shower and leave.”

Sheev did as he was told. But as he took himself in hand it wasn’t his father he thought about but Kylo and how he had looked riding him.

Shame tore through him as if this was somehow worse than committing the infidelity in the first place. He was glad that his father was already asleep when he emerged from the bathroom and dressed quietly.

If he could not get his emotions under control his father would find out the truth. And Sheev did not want to disappoint him this badly. He was his father’s and shouldn’t have allowed Kylo into his bed at all. It had been stupid and selfish to act on his most base desires like this. He had told himself it improved their relationship but the truth was Kyle and he still argued over every other decision either of them made. 

He didn’t know why he was doing this. Especially since he had not gained what he had wanted out of this arrangement. Not to mention that he did it without the permission of his father. It wasn’t the first time he had fucked someone to get information, a favour or a promotion but it had always been done with his father’s knowledge and approval.

The only reason he continued his affair with Kylo was because he liked having sex with him. Because the way Kylo treated sex as something that should be mutually pleasuring without a second thought appealed to him.

It wasn’t the answer he wanted to give himself.

/

“I need a new doorcode”, Hux said when he found Kylo inside his rooms like he had done last night.

“Do you belive that would stop me?”

Hux shrugged. “Is there anything you need that you returned from your ship so suddenly?”

“Does your father know about us?”

“Of course not.”

“How would he react if he knew?”

“You will not tell him.”

“He’d hurt you, wouldn’t he?” Hux wished Kylo was wearing his mask so he wouldn’t have to see his emotions. Sometimes that seemed to be all that there was to Kylo: emotions wrapped in a human body. “You have to see that what he does is wrong.”

“You know nothing”, Hux replied and took a step back. That phrase was quickly becoming his mantra in dealing with Kylo in this matter. How could he know? He was a product of the Republic, of the Jedi, one more chaotic and corrupt than the other. He knew nothing of control, of order, of obedience.

Kylo took Hux’s face between his hands. “No, you know nothing”, he said it in a strange tone, warm and a little pitying. And when he kissed Hux it was so tender, Hux wanted to scream at him. Instead he buried his hands in Kylo’s hair, tugging painfully hard to get him to speed things up but Kylo refused to give in. Instead he undid the buttons on Hux’s shirt and slipped it from his shoulders. He dragged his undershirt up, only breaking the kiss for a moment so he could pull it over Hux’s head before capturing his lips again. Kylo’s large hands roamed over his torso as if he wanted nothing but to simply feel him, the texture of his skin, the slope of rips and the sharp edges of his shoulder blades. There was a slowness to this whole thing that made Hux uncomfortable.

Finally Kylo’s fingers trailed along his sternum over his stomach to the waistline of his trousers and opened them. His mouth left Hux’s as he kissed along his neck and down his chest. He pulled Hux’s trousers down with both hands along with his pants. 

Hux kicked off his shoes and toed off his socks before stepping out of his trousers. His cock was hard he bucked into it when Kylo wrapped his hand around it. He lowered himself on his knees and Hux didn’t think he had ever seen anything more arousing in his life.

“Why?” He asked, one of the few coherent thoughts he could hold on to.

Kylo grinned at him. “Because I want to.”

**Author's Note:**

> You can pry the headcanon that Hux is named after Palpatine from my cold dead hands ;)
> 
> Find me [ here](http://smaragdbird.tumblr.com/) on tumblr


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